When Animals Attack.

Today was to be an early one and a morning spent on my CX bike. Heading into the Northumbrian hills as the sun rose and the snow radiated its own eerie light was a very special start to the day. The snow got gradually thicker and it became apparent that a great deal had fallen over night.

I was struck by my attachment to Northumberland; it may not have the grandeur and scale of the Alps or the Greek mountains for example, but it is incredibly atmospheric, unspoilt and peaceful and that’s why I love it. I am sure many cyclists feel similar emotions when they ride their patch. Perhaps this is because when on a bicycle we have the time to notice the nuances of the landscape around us; to explore at a speed that allows us to see so much and at the same time absorb it all...

The winter weather was doing some extraordinary things. There were patches of freezing fog that would suddenly be punctuated by an unexpected gap exposing electric blue sky. Temperature inversions produced thick swamp like clouds that wallowed in the valleys below me whilst snow flurries drifted across the silent fell tops. Wish I’d had my proper camera! Well, turned out to be a very good thing that I hadn’t brought it...

The snow got too thick to continue deeper into the hills so I changed tack and headed out to the East towards the coast. This way I could check the surf... recently the East coast has been getting some the most consistent quality swells it’s ever seen.

The road had cleared by this stage and I congratulated myself for negotiating some pretty treacherous conditions...

Meanwhile...

Mr. Tiddles lay by the fire, stretched, licked his balls and thought about the exciting things he would get up to today. Life on the farm was fun and Mr Tiddles told his brother just what lucky cats they were to live in such a beautiful place. ‘How about we go and explore the woods over the road?’ Mr Tiddles suggested. His brother thought this was a splendid idea on a crisp winter day; ‘But we’ll need to be careful crossing the road’.

‘Bollocks’, said Mr Tiddles, ‘Let’s pin it as hard as possible, not taking a blind bit of notice of anything. What are you bro; a cat or a pussy?’

‘OK, Mr T. Let’s do it...’

I had about 2 nanoseconds to clock the cats because I was going about 30mph... not even enough time to pull a kitty-hop. One of them smacked into my front wheel and flipped it from under me. There is something particularly horrible about road bike crashes. It’s the suddenness, the no time to respond and the downright hardness of concrete.... add to this a 10 meter slide on my hip and you’ve got a recipe for pain. I lay there for a while wondering if I’d broken anything. Yes I had! Flippin STIs, mudguards, mobile phone, torn clothes... and I had some pretty nasty gravel rash...

Oh well, only forty miles from home... unusually for this time of year I was not looking forward to getting into a hot shower...